There’s a little backstory behind the naming of this burger

Black Bean Smash Burger sounds a bit more appetizing than “the being over 40 sucks, having high cholesterol burger”, or “watching all the boys eat bacon cheeseburgers while you are nibbling beans and greens and wishing it was bacon” burger. So, I went with the former. The reason it’s a smash burger is because I was throwing things. (Burgers. Into the pan.) Supremely irate. Today, I found out my cholesterol was high. I was simultaneously gobsmacked, and, truly not all that surprised. But still angry. On one hand, I have not eaten the standard american diet in over 15 yrs. I eat red meat maybe four times a year. I workout regularly. On the other, I drink too much milk, eat too much saturated fat. Alongside that, my father has fought high cholesterol since his early thirties, no matter how healthy his diet. I thought I was doing enough to ward it off for a while longer. Apparently not. Therefore I need to make a few more changes in diet. Add more oats, stop drinking cow’s milk altogether. Luckily, oat milk is having a moment, and is very easy to find. Also cheese. God, I’ll miss cheese. I already eat large quantities of fruits, and vegetables, start my days with smoothies, get to the gym etc. You tend to think of yourself as healthy when you do all of these things. You, maybe, don’t always count the occasional slice, when out shopping with the boys. Hence, when they say “I just want a burger”, I make them a burger. So here I sit, with my beans and green burger, smelling bacon, wanting to smash something, trying to get over it. Enter: this burger.
Where’s the bacon?


Don’t get me wrong, here. I don’t, usually, resent eating black bean burgers. I have scarfed down countless black beans burgers by choice, in the name of better health and just because I love them. I love them. But I feel that choosing a black bean burger, over a bacon cheeseburger, is different if you don’t have to. When you have to, it now feels like deprivation, and I don’t do deprivation. Does that make me perverse? Therefore, if I have to eat a black bean burger, it better be one truly decadent burger. It better have a unique flavor profile, it better be a burger that you can’t get at any fast food joint. In other words, it better be a dang sight better than a bacon cheese burger. This is better. If you find yourself in the same position, you’ll want to give this burger a try. Here’s what you’ll need:

For the Burgers:
1 can of black beans (Organic is best) 1 sweet potato cubed and cooked handful of kale 1 small egg 1/3 cup of breadcrumbs Appreciate the process. Ewww.
Drain and rinse your black beans and pour in blender, add sweet potato and kale. Blend for 20 seconds or until is mixture is like ground burger. Scoop it out into bowl, then add egg and bread crumbs, Mix thoroughly. Form into a ball and toss into pan, flatten hard, with back of spatula. Cook on each side for about five minutes, or until cooked through.

Toppings: (you can adjust toppings to your own liking, of course)
Avocado beet greens kimchi pea sprouts leek sprouts spring onions siracha peppers of your choice (I chose sweet and hot peppers) mongolian bbq drizzle of honey To your health…
You can customize this burger to your heart’s content. Not into Asian burgers? Try some thing else. Share your results with us:) Don’t forget to post your adaptations on Instagram: #canigetaramen, or leave us a little feedback in the comments, to let us know what you think!

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